The Fellowship of Suffering

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death - phil 3:10

I find this verse intriguing right now. I guess I'm at a point where I want to want this. I hate suffering. I don't like pain. I don't even like inconvenience. I want to be entertained all the time, and yet entertainment is precisely and consistently what tortures me - because I know that there is so much more to the Gospel than going to Heaven after I die. There is God's kingdom in the here and now; I can't contribute if I busy myself with movies and video games.

Christians are called to a life of suffering, as demonstrated by the apostles. I don't think they lived the life they lived so that I could be rich, fat, and ignorant about the people around me. I have been given access to eternal relationship with God, but also immediate freedom from the twisted nature of the fallen world, and a viral ministry of reconciliation. This thing is still active; God is still in the business of breaking people free and waking up souls. I so want to partner with him in that business, but I feel like a failure so often.

Bring it back to GRACE. I've got to live in that grace. I don't have to perform for God, because when he sees me, he sees the perfection of his son. I can't earn anything, but still I want to be better, more effective. I want to be willing to give of myself completely, and experience that fellowship of suffering with Christ.